Women bemoan the lack of what they perceive as manliness in the men they meet and date, and yet they often wish that the man they might meet will be “sensitive”, “caring”, able to share his emotions, nurturing, and in other words, act like one of their girlfriends.
YOU CAN”T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS, LADIES! You want a man, then get a man. Want a metrosexual weenie? Then go get one of those. While the traits are not necessarially mutually exclusive, if you want a soft, girly man then expect to get one that is soft, and most likely a beta male. Or, deal with the fact that the traits of a manly man (by whatever definition you may use) often come with….well, lets call it baggage.
First, you have to decide what you want in a man. Do you want Dirk Dastardly, the guy that makes your blood boil when you read your “bodice ripper”? Do you seek a man who will stand up for, provide for, and protect his family? Or do you want a male version of your girlfriends? A manly man may have some of, but only some of those qualities. He may not be as exciting as that fellow Dirk, nor as caring (or have as good a fashion sense) as the two gay guys across the street. He will not share “feelings” with you as your girlfriend does….He will have faults.
He will no doubt be less in touch with his emotions than those 2 gay guys, or as your girlfriends, but trust me, the manly man has emotions….He just won’t let then show as much. He might take charge… He may be less of a housekeeper that you are, may not be able to detect the difference between pink and peach. He most likely will not share as much with you as to what his fears or frustrations are. He likely won’t have a “feminine” side. Deal with it. You get what you choose to have.
Likely, your “manly man” will be able to do many things. Likely, he will expect you to do some things better than he can. Likely, he will have roles for men and women in his mind. He will likely be polite to women, open doors and pull out chairs and such. There will be conversational barriers which he will not comfortably cross until he gets to know you. He may like sports to a degree which you cannot understand. Accept the fact that he is not one of your girlfriends. Enjoy the differences. You want a female roomie born with testicles as original equipment? You (generally) aren’t gonna find one who is a manly man.
When you reproduce, if you have a male child, develop him into a man. Don’t try to hide his aggressiveness by not letting him play with “boy” toys….Don’t drug him into docility, so he acts like a girl at school. . Let him have toy guns, let him have balls and bats, and when he plays team sports, let them keep score. Let him learn how to lose with honor, and win with grace. Teach him how to be courteous. Teach him manners to other people, and especially women. Teach him to treat women with respect. Be a mother which he can use a a yardstick against which to measure other women. Let him be a boy, so he can grow up to be a man, with guidance from you and his father.
Read this essay. Learn from it. Think of all those commercials which show wimpy, emasculated men who need their women to show them the way. Is it any wonder that your boy child is growing up to be a girlie-man? Teach him otherwise. Do so in order that the next generation of women can find men manly enough for them.